He would have a great time with the disclaimers found on most hotel coupons. He would have travel coupon books piled high on his desk - he is always sitting behind his desk. He would flip through them and shake his head indicating disbelief. I can just hear him now...
"Not valid with other discounts. Does that mean I can't use my AARP discount card? I've finally got old enough to belong to AARP, and I can't use that card AND my coupon? That doesn't seem right. Not valid during holidays or special events. It's my birthday. Does that count as a special event?"
or...
"Advanced reservations welcome. Please show ad at check-in. Not valid with other discounts or during special events. Limited rooms. Based on availability. What they really mean is if they can't sucker someone else in at a higher rate, they'll give me a discounted rate. It's better to have my few dollars than no dollars at all."
He probably would comment further, "It's not easy comparing these coupons. Look. This one will give you a room for $54.95 including free parking, free shuttle to and from the airport, and remote cable TV — that means I don't have to get out of bed to change the channels. I like that. Oh, and kids under 17 stay free. Except I don't have kids. I wonder if I could get an additional discount?"
"Here's another one. This one is only $45.95 — that's only for one or two people, yet they say kids stay free. That's confusing. Here you get a free continental breakfast and all rooms are equipped with a microfridge. Is that a microwave and refrigerator, or simply a very small refrigerator?"
Finally, he would say something snappy in closing. Perhaps... "Oh, I noticed on several coupons it said free local calls. That's a nice gesture, but would I be staying in a hotel if I knew someone in town? I don't think so. I'd be staying with them and it wouldn't cost me anything. Now THAT would be a good discount."
Well, folks... you get the picture. Always check the fine print on coupons.... and, watch Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes.
